I Don’t Like My Husband… Now What? How To Overcome Negative Feelings That Feel So Real

Struggling with feeling disconnected or frustrated in your marriage? This powerful blog post explores what to do when you’re thinking, “I don’t like my husband,” and offers real healing steps rooted in faith, identity, and breakthrough coaching.

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I don’t even like my husband right now” and feel instant guilt or confusion? Wondering what’s underneath those feelings and what God wants to do with them? You’re not alone—and this episode is for you.

In this episode, I share a deeply personal story from my own marriage and walk you through how emotional triggers, past wounds, and unhealed trauma can distort the way we see our husbands—and even ourselves. I also unpack a recent conversation I had with a private client who was brave enough to admit what many women feel but don’t say. You’ll hear what it looks like to lean in instead of escape, process your pain with God, and give Him room to fight for your marriage.

Listen in to learn how to process those raw, unfiltered emotions with God, stop letting your feelings run the show, and begin seeing your husband—and your marriage—through a healed heart and God’s eyes.

“Your feelings may be loud, but they don’t have the final say—God does.”
~Miranda Wendler

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Top Takeaways

• Sometimes, your greatest marital breakthrough is hiding behind your deepest pain.
• Feeling like you don’t like your husband doesn’t mean something is wrong with you—it means something deeper needs healing.
• Escapism, bitterness, and emotional shutdowns often signal past trauma that hasn’t been addressed.
• There is power in being honest with God—He’s not afraid of your truth, and He wants to heal it.
• Your healing begins when you stop letting your feelings lead and start letting God in.

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What You Will Learn

• How to discern whether “I don’t like him” is about your husband or deeper heart wounds.
• The connection between father wounds and your current view of your spouse.
• Why emotional honesty (even the messy kind) is essential to healing.
• Practical ways to stop self-sabotaging your marriage and start healing your heart.
• What it means to let God fill the emotional gaps your husband can’t meet.
• How to develop a vision for your marriage and start praying with purpose.

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Let’s Connect

Your feelings are valid, but they don’t have the final word. God does. If you’re willing to lean in, He can bring healing to places you thought were too far gone. Let Him rewrite your story—one surrendered moment at a time. 💛

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Transcript of Episode 80:I Don’t Like My Husband… Now What?

Hey, on this episode today, we’re just gonna get right into it. I don’t have my notes in front of me because I really want to speak from my heart on this. And again, you know you’re listening to this at your own leisure and your own power. You pushed play. I really honor that you’re here to hear the hard conversations—the good conversations, but the hard ones.

Some people won’t fit into this category, but today, we’re talking about: “I don’t like my husband.”

Let that sink in. “I don’t like him.”

You can’t imagine how many women get healed and set free from this very confession. They start seeing clearly through the lens of healing. They were seeing in fragments, and now they’re seeing more whole.

Maybe you’ve experienced it. Maybe you haven’t. But freedom comes, and suddenly, you realize…

“I don’t like my husband.”

I want to let you into a recent conversation I had with a private client. And let me tell you, I’m really proud of them. They bring it to a whole new level. They’re not afraid to dig deep. In previous episodes, I shared three steps that my private clients take in their walkout to freedom. And this comes up.

I have single clients, I have married clients. And guess what? This phrase comes up: “I don’t like my husband.”

So the Holy Spirit placed it in my spirit: “I don’t like my husband. Now what?” Let’s talk about it. Because nobody really is.

I always meet people where they’re at. You’re valid. Your feelings are telling you that you don’t like him.

And also… your husband might represent the pain your father put you through. The abandonment. The neglect. The abuse. Whether emotional or otherwise.

“You may or may not have married your father.”

That’s a real statement.

So when one of my clients said, “I feel powerful and healed… but I don’t like my husband,” I knew we were about to dig deep.

She said, “I’m realizing he is more like my father than I realized.”

In this case, she had suffered from molestation and abuse. (Trigger warning: please use discretion and don’t listen to this around children.)

This is where we dig deep. This is where the breakthrough begins.

So I asked her:

“You have a choice to make.”

This wasn’t a conversation to push divorce. My clients walk in freedom. They have a foundation of identity, passion, and love for the Father. But we don’t shy away from reality.

She has the choice.

Stay or go?

This is the moment where crap hits the fan, and the healing gets real. This is where we lean into the Father. This is where you let Him fill the gap you’re feeling.

“You’re powerful enough to not let your feelings tell you how to feel.”

Sounds strange, but hear me: feelings can be real, and still not be truth.

So we validate. Yes, you don’t like him. Got it. But do you fully love yourself yet?

Because that’s the deeper question.

I’ve been there. I remember being like, “Lord, I’m changing, healing, growing—and he’s over there doing nothing.”

And the Lord was waiting for me to stop biting at him. To stop disrespecting him. To zip it and pray.

“This is where the rubber meets the road.”

Now, back to my client. She had the power now. The healing. The breakthroughs.

So I asked her:

“What are you going to do with that power?”

Lean in. Lean all the way in.

She began to realize: “He reminds me of my dad.” And the pain that brought.

But that realization? That’s healing territory.

So I said:

“What is your heart really trying to say when it says, ‘I don’t like him’?”

In the early years of my marriage, when it got rough, I escaped. In books. TV. Even the Food Network.

When the going got rough, I checked out. I was never all in.

And here’s the truth:

“If one of your coping mechanisms is escapism or fantasy, you aren’t 100% in.”

I had to face that. That I was sabotaging. That I wasn’t being honest.

One night, after another round of complaints, my husband turned to me and said:

*”I can see that nothing I do or say is going to make you happy. So feel free to look somewhere else. I release you.”

He said it with love, not bitterness. And it stopped me in my tracks.

That was a Holy Spirit moment.

I could feel Him say:

“Push deeper.”

“Let Me fill the gap.”

This was the first time a man honored me by staying. By not rejecting me.

I had a choice: go back to escapism and self-soothing… or lean in.

I chose to lean in.

“I give it to You, Lord. I give it to You.”

That shift? It changed everything.

I saw the fruit of that in my marriage.

And now my client was facing her own version of that moment. And she said:

*”I don’t like him right now. But I know God has more for me. And I’m going to lean into Him.”

Come on, somebody. That’s breakthrough.

So, beloved, I ask you:

“How are you managing your heart?”

Are you letting your feelings rule you?

Or are you letting the Lord fill those broken places?

Because your feelings are a temperature, not a truth.

Ask yourself:

• Do I love myself?
  
• Is there unloving or bitterness?
  
• Is there broken trust?
  

Use this space to work while your feelings hang out in “I don’t like my husband” land.

Bring it to the Father.

“Victory is mine, says the Lord. Vindication is mine.”

Let God fight your battles.

“Let your feelings rise to the surface so the Lord can heal you. Then see your husband through healed eyes.”

Get a vision for your marriage. Pray for him. Ask God to bring in mentors and support.

“Won’t He do it?”

Thanks for listening. I pray this blessed you.

Ready to go deeper in your healing and walkout?
Visit mirandawendler.com/coaching to learn more about private coaching, freedom sessions, and how to invite God into your marriage journey.

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